Trouser Leg
by Snavej
Summary: Misfortune leads Oliver and Gene to have charge of a two year old for a week, but how hard can it be? [Written for the Ghost Hunt Exchange 2017]
1. Day 1: Monday

Your Client: Books-Tea-Ghosts Type of Case: Fanfiction Themes/characters/content they would prefer to receive: Romance, Friendship, Adventure, Fluff, Family, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Supernatural, Mystery, Horror. Twins~ Themes/characters/content they are unwilling to receive: N/A **A massive thank you to TeaaddictedGhostHunter for editing!** Day 1: Monday

"And everything is in her bag," Lin finished and handed the large backpack to Oliver.

"We'll be fine," Gene insisted while bouncing the toddler on his hip. "Won't we, Maggie?"

"Yes," Maggie replied with a vigorous nod, causing her two ponytails to bounce on either side of her head.

Madoka leaned over and kissed her daughter.

"You behave for Gene and Noll, won't you?" she asked in a gentle voice, caressing Maggie chubby cheek.

"Yes Mama!"

"Bye bye Maggie!"

The toddler's parents waved as they left. Oliver rolled his eyes and shut the door behind them as he mumbled about letting the heat out.

"Bye bye!" Maggie echoed. She wriggled against Gene and ordered him to put her— "Down!"

Gene placed her on the floor where she wobbled for a second before taking off down the hallway.

"Oh jeesh!" Gene went haring after Maggie. He kept his hands outstretched, ready to catch the toddler at any moment.

Oliver, meanwhile, shrugged and followed at an idle pace. When he caught up with his twin and their charge, Maggie was opening and closing all of the kitchen cupboards that she could reach purely for the pleasure of looking inside them.

"Maggie, why don't we go and do some drawing?" Gene suggested with an encouraging smile.

"No!"

Maggie had not turned to speak to Gene, but had continued searching the cupboards and drawers as Gene hovered over her, ready to protect her from whatever danger she may find.

"Or watch TV?"

"No!"

The toddler looked around and giggled at the look of frustration on Gene's face.

"No!" Maggie repeated, clapping her hands together as a grin spread across her features.

"She takes after her mother, I see," Oliver commented.

"Book!" Maggie tottered past Gene and grabbed onto Oliver's trouser leg. "Book!"

"She wants you to read to her," Gene guessed.

"I gathered," Oliver replied before looking down at Maggie's eager face. "I am not reading to you."

"No! Book!"

Oliver rolled his eyes and glared at Gene, who was leaning against the counter and looking amused.

"I'll read to you," Gene said hastily, jumping away from the work surface.

"No."

Maggie pouted at Gene and stuck her tongue out before returning to tugging on Oliver's clothing. Gene swooped down and picked Maggie up.

"Come on, let's leave Noll alone. I'll read to you."

Maggie's pout grew as Gene carried her away from Oliver, who in turn began making a pot of tea. He flicked the kettle on and had just found a mug when his phone started ringing.

He answered it.

"Yes, Mai?"

"How's it going? Have you killed Maggie yet?"

"She's been here a total of four minutes," Oliver deadpanned. "I have not done anything to her."

"Is she okay? Have you made her cry yet?"

"Gene has taken charge of her," Oliver said, "She has not cried—"

A sudden wail from the living room cut him off.

"What's that? What did you do?" Mai's frantic voice asked. "I knew I shouldn't have gone to this damned conference."

"Mai, that conference is important for your career. Gene and I will manage perfectly well. Now if you will excuse me, I need to find out what on earth the idiot did to make the child cry."

Oliver hung up, somewhat offended that Mai thought he could not manage five minutes without killing a child. Especially when Gene was the one that upset the toddler.

Oliver abandoned his half-made tea and strode through to the living room.

"What did you do?"

"Maggie stubbed her toe," Gene explained. He was holding Maggie close to his chest and shushing the toddler. However, when Maggie spotted Oliver, she wriggled free of his grip and latched, once again, onto Oliver's trouser leg.

"Hug!" she demanded.

"No," Oliver replied as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Hug now!" she repeated with a pouting frown.

"Noll, it won't kill you," Gene muttered.

Oliver glared first at Gene then down at the toddler. He sighed heavily when his stare had no effect on Maggie. He picked her up and held her at arm's length. Maggie reached out for him, still pouting.

Oliver sighed again and drew her in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled. Gene now took to pouting.

"What?" Oliver mouthed at him.

"Nothing," he replied, looking away.

Oliver rolled his eyes and pulled Maggie off of him.

"Gene is going to read to you," he told her as he placed her back on the floor.

Oliver missed the disappointed expression Maggie sent his way as he left the room. He was keen to escape before he could be roped into any more ridiculous activities. He returned to the kitchen, made his tea and headed to his room.

He opened his email account and found one addressed to him and Gene from Madoka and Lin. The subject line read ' _How to take care of a toddler.'_

Oliver took a long gulp of tea and opened the attachment. His eyes scanned the document in front of him. It consisted of a daily routine, food plan, guides on how to wash a toddler as well as how to stimulate her during playtime.

Oliver yawned and closed the document. It was Monday today and Madoka and Lin would only be away until Friday. How hard could it be?

A shriek from downstairs reached Oliver's ears. He drunk a little more of his tea, having expected Gene to deal with whatever the problem may be. Yet the shrieking continued.

Oliver finished his drink and headed towards the noise.

"What's going on?" he asked his brother.

"She won't stop crying!" Gene replied, flapping his hands about. "We were reading and then—"

Oliver glanced at the clock on the wall.

"She is tired," he concluded. "The schedule Madoka sent indicated she has usually had a nap by now."

"But we haven't even sorted out her sleeping arrangements yet!"

"We'll put her in Mai's room," Oliver said.

A sudden tug on his trousers caused him to look down. Maggie had latched onto him, yet again, and was now wiping her nose on him as she continued to bawl.

"I'll do it," Gene said, reaching forwards to pick her up. But as soon as his hands touched Maggie, her wailing increased twofold.

"I'll do it," Oliver corrected.

He picked Maggie up and imitated the shushing noises Gene had made earlier with as much fake empathy as he could muster. Maggie settled a little, her head resting on his shoulder. By the time he had reached Mai's room, Maggie had fallen asleep.

He placed the toddler in Mai's bed and tucked her in, leaving her to her nap. He crept out of the room to find Gene, who had relocated to the kitchen was reading the email Madoka and Lin had sent on his phone.

"We have, like, no toys."

"There are a few in the bag," Oliver countered.

"Yeah, but have you seen how much 'playtime' is on this schedule thing?" Gene asked.

"I briefly glanced at it."

"This was such a bad idea."

"Humans are surprisingly resilient creatures," Oliver said. "She will survive a week with us."

"You are relying on the resilience of the human species? Really?"

Oliver shrugged.

"I have some work to do," he muttered. "Are you willing to cook for this evening?"

"Yeah," Gene mumbled, mind clearly elsewhere, "Yeah, I'll sort something out."

Oliver nodded his appreciation and returned to his room. He worked in peace and quiet for almost two hours, an unexpected bonus considering their new house guest.

Gene's muffled voice roused Oliver from his state of concentration. He could not quite make out what his brother was saying, but from the tone of his voice, he knew Gene was annoyed.

He exited his bedroom to find Gene's bedroom door open.

"—not supposed to use that!"

A childish giggle told Oliver that Maggie had woken up.

"Give it here!"

Oliver entered Gene's bedroom to find Maggie clutching at what he recognised as Gene's stage makeup. Although Gene had not been part of the local Amateur Dramatics group for a few years, he religiously maintained his stage makeup collection, just in case it was needed.

Maggie, however, was oblivious to this and thus had used the various powders, lipsticks and creams as facepaint. She had given herself surprisingly symmetrical red panda eyes. The rest of her skin had been coloured a sickly green colour and a lot of what Oliver recognised as foundation had been used to 'style' her hair.

He smirked at the distraught look on Gene's face.

"Noll. Can you clean her up while I salvage what I can?"

"Of course," Oliver replied, turning to Maggie. "Come on."

Maggie giggled again and clapped her hands before holding them out to Oliver, who sighed and picked her up. He kept her at arm's length until they reached the bathroom.

After putting the toilet seat lid down, Oliver sat Maggie on the lid and set the water running in the sink. After a minute, when the water had warmed up, Oliver grabbed a clean flannel and wetted it before wiping the mess off of Maggie's face with as much care as he could be bothered with.

"There," he said finally.

Maggie's face had reddened from his scrubbing, but she had not cried and so Oliver saw this as a success.

"Hungry!" Maggie declared as she wriggled to the floor. "Foo now!"

Oliver followed her from the bathroom to the stairs, where Maggie bum shuffled down them. Impressed with her ability to get around, despite being a little unsteady, Oliver continued after Maggie until they reached the kitchen.

They found Gene stirring a pan and scowling. Oliver could hear him muttering under his breath as he did so. But knowing his words were likely to be about his ruined makeup collection, Oliver made no effort to induce a conversation.

"Food is almost ready, lay the table."

Oliver nodded. He reached down and picked Maggie up. He sat her in a chair and quickly realised they would have a problem. Her head just reached the height of the main table.

"Can't see!"

Maggie obviously saw the problem too.

"Wait there, I will set the table."

"Can't see!" Maggie repeated, reaching up and banging the bit of table closest to her head.

"I know," Oliver repeated. His hands worked at setting place mats and cutlery for three, while his eyes remained on Maggie. The toddler appeared content making a racket.

"Noll, she can't use metal cutlery!" Gene admonished. "There were plastic ones in that bag."

"Keep an eye on her while I get them."

When Oliver returned, Maggie had stood up on the chair so that she could see the table. She had taken the liberty of rearranging the cutlery that she could reach so that the knives and forks formed crosses.

Oliver replaced Maggie's cutlery with the plastic spork and straightened the other sets.

"No!" Maggie threatened tears at Oliver ruining her hard work. But a crisis was averted by the arrival of the food.

"You gave her as much as an adult," Oliver accused.

Gene sighed, but did not respond to Oliver's comment.

"Eat up, Maggie," Gene encouraged as he sat.

The twins began eating, not realising for a few minutes that Maggie was struggling to eat herself.

She began to make displeased whining sounds, gaining the attention of both young men. Oliver immediately slid her place closer and cut up her food into smaller mouthfuls.

"There. Eat."

Maggie tried again. When Gene finished his own food, he took her spork and fed her with the aid of a few imaginary planes and choo choo trains.

After Maggie had eaten some food — neither twin was entirely sure if the quantity was enough — Oliver sat Maggie down in front of his laptop and streamed some children's show for her to watch.

They were midway through the washing up when Maggie tottered into the kitchen.

"Where Mama?"

"On holiday," Oliver replied as he dried one of the plates.

"Where holiday?" Maggie stressed each syllable of the last word.

"Paris."

Maggie's frown grew.

"Where Mama?" she repeated, her perturbed state of mind evident. "Where Dada?"

Gene dried his hands and bent down to Maggie's level.

"They're not here right now. We're looking after you," he said in a soft voice.

Maggie's bottom lip wobbled dangerously. Gene's face morphed from worry to sheer panic.

"Maggie," he said hastily, "It's ok—"

She bawled. Noisy tears streamed down her face as she plonked down to the floor and covered her face with her chubby little hands.

"I don't know what you expected," Oliver muttered. "She was bound to get upset about her parents leaving at some point."

"But they talked to her about it," Gene replied.

Oliver raised an eyebrow at his twin.

"I thought I was supposed to be the idiotic insensitive one."

Gene's mouth fell open, insulted. Oliver put away the final piece of kitchenware and picked up Maggie, who latched her arms around his neck again.

"Mama," she moaned into his neck.

"She'll be back soon," Oliver insisted. "Let's go and watch something while we wait."

Gene gaped after Oliver.

"Who are you and what did you do with my brother?"

Unseen by Gene, Oliver rolled his eyes. He settled Maggie back in front of his laptop, but Maggie would not release his arm. So Oliver sat down beside the toddler and read while Maggie watched some ridiculous cartoon.

When he joined them, Gene pouted at the lavish attention Maggie was giving his brother, but did not say anything for fear of making Maggie cry again.

"Where is she going to sleep?" he asked in a soft voice some time later.

Oliver shrugged.

"Mai's room?"

Gene nodded, not having a better suggestion.

Some time later, once Maggie had fallen asleep watching cartoons, Oliver relocated her to Mai's bed again.

They had survived the first day.


	2. Day 2: Tuesday

Day 2: Tuesday

The next morning, Oliver was rudely awoken by something bouncing on his bed.

"Up! Up! Up!"

"Maggie what are you doing?"

"Up!"

Oliver sighed.

"Go and bother Gene."

"Gene up!"

Oliver opened a single eye and glared down at the toddler's delighted face.

"Look!"

Maggie spread her arms out and Oliver took in the fact that her head and arms were sticking out of a mass of pink fabric that he vaguely recognised.

"Is that one of Mai's dresses?"

"Pretty!"

"Where did you find that?"

"Cubba."

"Cupboard? You mean the wardrobe?"

"Pretty!"

Oliver groaned and pushed himself into a sitting position. Maggie had one of her arms out of the neck hole of the dress, but had otherwise done quite well at clothing herself. Begrudgingly impressed, Oliver reached forwards and helped Maggie straighten the dress out. Once she was suitably covered, Maggie tried to climb onto the bed, only to be impeded with the length of the skirt.

Oliver sighed and pulled Maggie up.

"What do you want?"

But Maggie ignored him as she bounced on the bed, clearly in a world of her own. Oliver rolled his eyes and got up. He made to leave the room before realising that leaving a toddler alone sounded like a disaster waiting to happen.

He scooped Maggie up under one arm and carried her down to the kitchen. She giggled and held her arms out as if pretending to be an aeroplane.

"Why is she wearing one of Mai's dresses?" Gene asked.

"Because she put one on," Oliver replied. "I had nothing to do with it."

Oliver placed Maggie on the floor and made himself a cup of tea.

"Have you looked in Mai's room?" Gene asked.

"No, why would I have?"

"Well if she's gone through Mai's wardrobe…"

"She can clear it up."

"Noll, she has the attention span of a gnat," he said with some incredulity.

Oliver shrugged and Gene sighed.

"Maggie," Gene began with a kind smile, "Do you want some breakfast?"

"No."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No."

Gene looked pointedly at Oliver, who shrugged.

"But you need to eat something," Gene went on, not expecting any help from his brother.

"No."

"Well what do you want to do then?" he asked, hands on hips.

"Play!"

"Well that narrows it down," Noll said, "Take her to the park, that will tire her out."

"No!"

Maggie slid across the floor and latched herself onto Oliver's leg.

Oliver scowled at Gene, his jaw set.

"What do you want?" Oliver asked Maggie.

"Park!"

Oliver's scowl deepened.

"Well that's set, we're all going to the park," Gene said, beaming at Oliver..

Oliver finished his tea and made to stand up and stalk away but the presence of a small child attached to his leg impeded his progress.

Twenty minutes later, the trio began the walk to the park. It was a slow process. Oliver strode out, walking at his normal pace. Maggie, on the other hand, tottered along nowhere near as fast. Gene danced between his brother and their charge, moaning at Oliver to slow down while encouraging Maggie to keep going.

In the end, Gene picked her up and carried Maggie the rest of the way so as to not test Oliver's limited patience.

They released the toddler in the play park area and took a seat on a nearby bench. Gene kept a keen eye on Maggie, while Oliver pulled a book out of his pocket and began reading, unbothered by whatever the toddler was doing.

"I think we're doing okay, you know?" Gene said after a few minutes silence.

"You think?"

"Well, she's only cried a few times and—"

"So why is she eating a slug right now?"

"Oh shi—"

Gene sprinted from his seat to remove the slug from Maggie's mouth. Oliver smirked and returned to his book. Slugs were not poisonous after all. Well… Most of them weren't.

Gene carried Maggie back over to Noll and sat down with her on his lap so he could wipe her mouth and hands clean with a tissue.

"We're not going to tell Madoka or Lin about this," Gene muttered.

"You want me to lie to them about how you neglected their daughter?"

"How _we_ neglected their daughter."

"They don't expect anything of me in regards to their daughter's wellbeing. You're a qualified doctor, they expect better of you."

"Uh! Foo!"

Both twins looked to Maggie.

"She's hungry," Noll concluded. "We should go home."

"We've been here ten minutes."

"But she's hungry."

"You just want to return home," Gene accused.

"How else do you propose we find her food?"

Gene scowled and they began the walk home.

X~X~X

Their afternoon passed by in relative peace and quiet. Gene provided Maggie with some colouring pencils and paper. He then escaped to the supermarket to stock up on food suitable for a toddler.

This left Oliver alone with Maggie. He had been content to continue his book, as Maggie appeared happy to colour in pieces of paper and mumbling to herself.

Only when he looked up an hour later did he realise she was no longer colouring in on pieces of blank paper.

"What is that?" he demanded.

"Book!"

"That's my textbook."

"Book!"

Maggie remained oblivious to Oliver's frustration. He scowled and snatched the book from her to examine the damage. Tears welled in Maggie's eyes and a wail escaped her mouth.

"You have ruined this book," Oliver accused.

The wailing continued.

"Crying is not going to fix it," he muttered.

Oliver hooked the book under his armpit and made to move all the other books in the room to somewhere that Maggie could not reach, all while she continued to cry on the floor.

"Stop it. I am the one with the ruined book, not you."

This reasoning did not sit well with Maggie. Oliver sighed and gave the book back to Maggie. It was already ruined, she may as well keep it.

Maggie's tears dried up in an instance. She opened the book and flicked through the pages with a large degree of discoordination.

"Noh!"

Oliver looked down as Maggie pointed at her previous scribbles. He studied the mass of pink and black and blue.

"Noh!" she repeated.

Oliver's mouth opened to speak. Then he closed it again and swallowed.

"That's me?" he asked in a tone of forced interest.

"Yes!"

The drawing could not be described as a true likeness.

"It's…" The mental image of Luella scolding him for being tactless caused Oliver to reconsider his original choice of words. "Lovely. Very good."

Maggie beamed. She fumbled to her feet and latched onto Oliver's leg, giggling. Against his better judgement, a smile formed on Oliver face. He pulled his phone out and took a picture of Maggie's drawing to send to Mai, knowing she would appreciate it.

"Why don't you draw Gene?" Oliver suggested.

Maggie tottered back to the ruined textbook and turned a few pages. She picked up her crayons and set to work. Oliver returned to his chair, satisfied that the rest of his book collection was safe.

Gene returned a little while later.

"How are we all?"

"Gene!" Maggie shouted, pointing at the page in front of her.

"She has been drawing," Oliver commented.

"Isn't that one of your textbooks?"

"Yes, I sacrificed it to the greater good of keeping the child quiet," Oliver muttered. "Admire her drawing."

Gene made a point of bending down and studying the picture of him. Not that Oliver was biased, but the drawing of himself was definitely better than the one of Gene.

"Gene!" Maggie repeated.

She flicked through the pages until she found the picture of Oliver.

"Noh!"

"Wow, that's really good," Gene said. "You've really brought out the colour in his eyes."

Oliver rolled his eyes behind Gene's back.

"What's for dinner?"

"Risotto, I got some spinach because it was reduced and we've got some other veg that needs using up," Gene replied. "Plus it's all little bits so she'll be able to eat it."

Oliver nodded, approving of his twin's thought process.

"Do you want me to cook?" Oliver asked.

"If you want."

Oliver stood up and started towards the kitchen, leaving Gene to watch over Maggie.

Halfway through the cooking process, Oliver received a reply from Mai.

 **Mai: I did not know you were such a skilled artist!**

 **Oliver: -.-**

 **Mai: What's it supposed to be?**

 **Oliver: Maggie drew me.**

 **Mai: That's really cute!**

Returning to cooking with a slight smile, Oliver realised how much he preferred Maggie being a toddler to when she had been a baby. When Maggie was first born, he had been forced into holding the wrapped up bundle and had received no considerable pleasure from the action. Gene had loved every minute of it, cooing and making faces, which had only resulted in the baby crying.

But Oliver supposed that as a toddler, Maggie was somewhat coherent. She was learning more and more every day and improving. Oliver wondered if his limited tolerance of her would improve as she aged further. Perhaps when she reached adulthood…

"...help Noll in the kitchen," Gene said from behind him. The soft padding of feet told him that Gene and Maggie were walking into the kitchen.

"Noh!"

"Yes Maggie?"

"Coo!"

"Yes, I am cooking. Well observed."

Gene picked Maggie up and sat her on the work surface next to where Noll stood.

"Do you want to help?" Oliver asked Maggie.

"Yes!"

"Okay, I need you to hold this carrot for me."

Oliver handed Maggie a small carrot which she grasped with both hands. He continued to cut vegetables and add them to the pan, every now and then checking on Maggie and her carrot.

"Can I have the carrot now?" Oliver asked, holding his hand out.

Maggie frowned, but allowed him take it from her. He chopped of the end of the carrot and passed it back to her, then cut off another small piece and ate it. Maggie giggled and put her bit in her mouth. Her small teeth gnawed down on the carrot.

"Don't tell Gene," Oliver whispered, causing Maggie to giggle more.

"Don't tell Gene what?" Gene asked from the table.

"Nothing!"

Gene narrowed his eyes at the pair of them.

"Uh!" Maggie opened her mouth. "Uh!"

"What do you want?" Oliver asked.

"'Rot!"

"Carrot?"

"Yes!"

Oliver smirked and cut off another small bit for her to chew on.

"Hey! Why don't I get any?" Gene whined.

"Get any what?"

"Gene 'rot!"

"You think Gene wants a carrot?" Oliver asked.

"Yes! Want 'rot!"

"You want a carrot?"

"No!" Maggie laughed at Oliver's apparent mistake. "Gene!"

"Gene?"

"Yes!"

"Gene wants a carrot?" Oliver repeated.

"Gene want 'rot!"

Oliver smiled.

"Okay," he said, picking Maggie up and depositing her on the floor. He handed her a piece of carrot. "Take this to Gene."

Maggie did as asked.

"Thank you," Gene said.

"Very good, Maggie," Oliver said. "What do you want to do after we've eaten?"

"Foo!"

"Yes, we're having food now. What about after food?"

"Foo!"

Oliver gave up.

"I found some of the Disney films on Netflix," Gene suggested. "We could watch that?"

"We?"

"Fine, I'll watch them with Maggie and you can be an antisocial git."

"Git!" Maggie repeated.

"No, don't say that," Gene said hastily.

"Git!" Maggie said again.

"You taught her to swear," Oliver accused.

"I didn't mean to! It wasn't like I said shit or anything!"

"Shit!" Maggie said.

Oliver smirked and turned back to the risotto, stirring it as he did so.

"No, that's a bad word. Don't say that!"

"Shit!" Maggie said again, evidently amused by the look of frustration on Gene's face.

"Oh jeesh… Madoka is going to kill me."

"No she won't," Oliver countered. "Madoka will find this hilarious. Lin will kill you."

"I'm doomed."

"Shit!" Maggie said again.

"You know Lin knows at least two martial arts," he mentioned, his smirk widening.

"He wouldn't kill me," Gene said, trying to convince himself.

"Madoka would help him hide the body."

"You'd protect me though, right?"

"And risk them mistaking me for you? I don't think so."

"I'll hold Maggie in front of me!"

"Maggie wouldn't comply."

"She would!" Gene insisted. "I'll prove it. Maggie, come here!"

"Really?" Oliver rolled his eyes before saying in a deadpan voice, "Maggie, come to me."

Maggie looked from Gene to Oliver and then back to Gene. Both twins beckoned her. She laughed, happy with all the attention and then ran into Oliver's legs. He picked her up in one swoop and sat her on his hip.

"You were saying?" Oliver prompted with a satisfied smirk.

Gene scowled.

"You would be upset if I died."

"I'd get over it. I think you're just bitter that Maggie likes me more than you. Don't you, Maggie?"

"Yes!"

"And what do you think about Gene?"

Maggie frowned. Oliver pointed to Gene.

"Shit!"

Oliver chuckled.

"You should stop encouraging her," Gene muttered.

Oliver put Maggie down.

"Lay the table, I'll plate up."

Gene scowled, but complied with his brother's suggestion. Every now and then, he tried to beckon Maggie closer to him. But with every attempt, she clung tighter and tighter to Oliver's trouser leg.


	3. Day 3: Wednesday

Day 3: Wednesday

Oliver was once again woken by the presence of a small something on his bed.

"Up!" Maggie whined.

"No."

Maggie pouted at Oliver, who took no notice. He toppled her so that she fell away from him onto the other side of his bed. She crawled over his lying form and sat on his stomach.

"Up!" she whined again, bouncing slightly.

"Sleep."

"No!"

"It's nice to see you two have such an intellectual discussion," a new voice muttered.

"Shut up Gene."

"Then get up."

"I could phone Lin," Oliver threatened. "I'm sure he'd love to know all about how you taught her to swear and let her eat a slug."

"Almost let her."

"I'm sure that distinction will make all the difference," Oliver muttered, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Maggie, let's go and get breakfast."

Maggie had other ideas.

"Up! Up!" Maggie squealed, bouncing again.

"Get her off my bladder."

"Only way of doing that is getting up."

Oliver groaned and twisted over onto his back. Maggie fell onto the other side of the bed again with a loud laugh.

"'Gen a 'gen!"

"No."

Maggie ignored Oliver and made to climb back onto his lap, only for him to push her straight back again. She giggled at getting exactly what she wanted and clapped her pudgy hands in delight.

She started towards Oliver, but before she got close enough to climb on him again, he pinned her to the bed with a single hand. His fingers had touched her sides and she squirmed as he unintentionally tickled her.

"Interesting."

Maggie squealed as he wriggled his fingers.

"Stop torturing the poor child," Gene said.

"She's laughing, how is it torture?"

"She can barely breathe."

"If she can laugh, she has enough oxygen to breathe," Oliver countered.

Nevertheless, he relented and Maggie panted to regain control. Once she had recovered, Maggie attempted to tickle Oliver back.

"I am not ticklish."

"Your feet are," Gene pointed out.

"Yes, but if she tries to tickle my feet, I am likely to kick her in a knee jerk reaction," Oliver said. "Do you want that?"

"No."

"Then let's go and get breakfast. Maggie, time to go downstairs."

Maggie scrambled off the bed and raced out of the room as fast as her little legs could carry her.

"I'll meet you down there," Oliver muttered.

Gene followed Maggie down to the kitchen.

"Shall we make Noll some tea?"

"Noh!"

"Okay, you sit here then," Gene said, sitting Maggie on the counter beside him. "Do you want to go to the park again today?"

"Par!"

"Okay we'll go after breakfast. You also need to have a wash today," Gene said. "At least your Mum put that on the schedule…"

"Mama!"

"Yeah, but she said bath and we don't have a bath. We have a shower… Hmm... So that'll be fun. Do you like baths?" Gene looked to the toddler for some gauge of how she would react to being washed.

"Baf!"

Maggie pulled a silly face and blew a raspberry.

"Great…"

X~X~X

After breakfast, they headed once again to the park. Gene had banned Oliver from bringing his book, stating that they were all going to play together.

Oliver had sulked for the entire walk.

When they arrived, Maggie ran towards the slide. Gene raced after her, and Oliver after him at a slower pace.

Gene hovered behind Maggie as she staggered up the small wooden steps, while Oliver waited at the bottom of the slide. Maggie slid down and crashed into Oliver's legs, giggling as she did so. Both twins watched her toddle back to the stairs.

She grabbed Gene's leg and pulled.

"Gene go!"

Oliver smirked.

"I'm too big!"

"Gene go!"

"Yes Gene," Oliver said, "Do try and squeeze yourself down that tiny slide."

Gene scowled at his twin and then climbed up the four steps of the slide. He squatted down and tried to fit his hips into the limited width.

"Go go!" Maggie cheered.

Gene twisted so that his weight rested on one side and slid down in a rather pathetic way. His feet hit the ground before his bum was even half way down. Something jabbed him in the back. Gene turned to see that Maggie had followed him down and kicked him in the process.

He climbed off of the slide to let Maggie slide the rest of the way down. She laughed until she hit the ground with a wobble. Once she had regained her footing, she began towards the swings.

"What are you smirking at?" Gene spat.

"You," Oliver said with a shrug.

"Go and push her on the swings," Gene grumbled.

Oliver did as asked. He lifted Maggie into the baby swings and gently pushed her, making her giggle.

"Weeeee! More!"

Oliver pushed a little harder. Gene joined him with a scowl plastered over his face.

"What's wrong?" Oliver asked.

"Nothing."

Gene pouted.

"You're upset she doesn't like you as much," Oliver said. "This is odd for you."

"I'm not upset."

"Liar."

"Fine, I'm a little upset."

"I'll admit I do not understand why she appears to like me more. My theory is that I remind her of her father."

"Have you seen Lin around that kid?" Gene asked. "He's like a completely different person."

Oliver shrugged.

"You must have had someone dislike you before, besides the obvious."

Gene ruffled his hair, avoiding Oliver's eye.

"Well yeah," he admitted finally. "But…"

"But what?"

"Only when I was pretending to be you."

"That does not count," Oliver replied, unbothered by Gene's words.

"More!" Maggie whined, distracting both twins from their discussion.

Oliver had neglecting his pushing duties and so redoubled his efforts.

"I mean we're identical! How does she even tell the difference?!" Gene complained quickly so as to move the conversation forwards.

"Mai can tell us apart," Oliver pointed out.

"We've never really tried to trick her though. Luella struggled upon occasion. But this kid can just do it. How?"

"Perhaps she picks up on some aspect that most people ig—"

"I think it's black magic. She must be a witch."

"That's stupid."

"Think about it. Madoka is evil, right? And Lin's family is from China, so there's the whole feng shui magic thing—"

"I do not think that the way Lin's family choose to rearrange their furniture has anything to do with Maggie being capable of telling us apart."

A high pitched moan followed by the chinking of the swing chains drew the twins' attention back to their charge.

"Up!" Maggie had raised her arms in the air so Oliver could lift her out of the swing chair.

"Go!" she ordered as Oliver placed her back on the floor.

She stomped off in one direction, letting the twins trail behind her.

"It is uncanny," Gene mumbled.

"It could be clothing choice," Oliver said. "I often wear dark colours, while you do not."

"Ooh, it could be! We should switch and see if she notices."

"Really?"

"Come on! It'd be a science experiment! You like those!"

"I like science experiments that are actually interesting," Oliver retorted. "For example, searches for dark matter. Not whether a toddler can tell me and my brother apart."

"Please!"

"Fine. But only if you bathe her."

"Deal."

X~X~X

Gene later regretted this agreement.

As the house in which they lived had no bath, and there was no way Maggie would fit in the sink comfortably, Gene was forced to put Maggie in the shower.

Maggie had never had a shower before.

And Maggie did not like the shower.

In the end, Gene ended up putting on his swim shorts and climbing in the shower with the toddler. He lifted the shower head from its usual position and held it so that the water sprayed on Maggie's feet.

Once she had grown used to this sensation, Gene did his best to wash her, encouraging her to help where possible.

"I think that'll do," he said finally.

"Gene too!"

"No, I showered this morning."

Maggie pouted.

"Gene too!"

Gene rolled his eyes.

"Uh!"

Maggie pointed to the shower head.

"No."

She pouted.

"This is going to end in disaster."

He handed Maggie the shower head and allowed her to spray him with water as he quickly washed his body.

Once dried and dressed twenty minutes later, they rejoined Oliver in the lounge. Maggie immediately climbed onto Oliver's lap, with some assistance from Oliver himself.

Gene watched as Maggie whispered something into Oliver's ear. Well, not exactly 'whisper', but an attempt at whispering.

"Really?" Oliver asked.

Maggie nodded and giggled.

"Show now!"

"You want to watch something?"

"Yes!"

Gene set up the laptop for Maggie and then sat down next to his brother.

"What did she whisper to you?" he asked.

"Ah, well if I told you that, it would be a breach of trust between Maggie and myself."

"Noll."

"What?"

"Tell me."

"Maggie is under the impression you do not have a bottom."

"What?"

"I presume because you wore swimming trunks in the shower?" Oliver suggested.

"Oh, right. Well it would have been weird otherwise!" Gene defended.

"Why? She's a toddler."

"Because what if Lin does the same thing?"

"What has Lin got to do with anything?" Oliver asked.

"Well if he showered with her naked and then I did, she might, I dunno, compare us or something."

Oliver blinked a few times before responding.

"You're an idiot."

"I don't want her blurting out that my penis is bigger than Lin's!"

"You're an idiot."

Gene laughed and the twins fell silent for a few minutes.

"What if it's smaller though?"

Oliver groaned and stood up. He picked Maggie up and left the room, saying as he did so, "Time for bed, I think. Do you want a story? I will read you a bedtime story."

Gene laughed again.

"Book!"

"Yes Maggie, I'm going to read to you about quantum electrodynamics."

Oliver entered Mai's room, helped Maggie change into her pyjamas and settled her into bed.

He opened one of his favourite physics textbooks and began to read. Maggie listened, as if entranced by his words, though she could have no comprehension at all of their meaning.

And after a few pages, she had fallen asleep.


	4. Day 4: Thursday

Day 4: Thursday

Oliver woke naturally on Thursday. He groaned and rubbed the sleepy dust from his eyes. Something wriggled beside him and for a mad minute he thought that Mai had come home early.

Then he realised the wriggling creature was far too small to be Mai.

"Maggie, what are you doing in my bed?"

But Maggie was still fast asleep. She had evidently joined him at some point in the night and from the look of her red patchy skin around her eyes, had been crying. Oliver frowned, how had he not woken?

He pulled the duvet over her sleeping form and let her sleep.

Oliver met Gene coming out of the bathroom.

"Did Maggie wake you in the night?" Oliver asked.

"No, why?"

"She crawled into my bed at some point. It appears she's been crying."

"Nightmares?" Gene guessed.

"Or missing her parents," Oliver said, nodding.

"They'll be back tomorrow."

"Yes, but I'm not sure she has much concept of that."

A loud wail caused both twins to turn towards Oliver's bedroom. They rushed in unison to find Maggie crying. The toddler crawled towards them and Gene rushed forward to embrace her.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a soft voice.

But Maggie did not answer, she just cried into his shoulder.

Gene looked to Oliver, concerned. Oliver shrugged.

"At least she hugged me this time," Gene mumbled.

Oliver rolled his eyes.

"Really? That is your concern right now?"

Gene looked away, ashamed, but did not release the crying toddler from his arms. Then he grinned.

"How about we make cake!"

Oliver rolled his eyes and walked away.

"What do you think, Maggie? Cake?"

Maggie just continued sobbing onto his shoulder.

X~X~X

Oliver spent a quiet morning working, relenting only when his stomach began complaining so loudly that he could not think straight.

"... put sprinkles on the top," Gene was saying as Oliver entered the kitchen.

Correction. Bombsite.

"What have you done?"

"We made cupcakes," Gene explained.

"Cupa!" Maggie agreed.

Oliver could not quite identify the variety of sticky substances on Maggie's face, fingers, t-shirt and hair. Was that… Apple sauce?

Something of his disgust evidently showed on his face, as Gene hastened to explain.

"Maggie helped you see, but everything was safe for her to eat raw so—"

"I am not cleaning this up."

"Cupa!"

Maggie held up a sprinkle covered lump that Oliver guessed to be a cupcake.

"Noh cupa!"

"No."

Maggie pouted.

"Noll, it's vegan and everything," Gene said, also pouting.

Oliver sighed down at the two idiots staring up at him. He gingerly took the cupcake from Maggie and sniffed it.

"Eat," Gene said.

"Eee!" Maggie agreed.

Grimacing, Oliver took a bite.

The cake was not awful… But Oliver was not a fan of cake to begin with and this particular cake was rather sweet. Yet when he looked at Maggie's hopeful face, he could not bring himself to upset her. Crying children were a nuisance after all.

"It's lovely."

Maggie clapped her hands in delight, splattering the gooey mixture on her fingers everywhere.

"I am not cleaning this up," Oliver repeated.

"It's fine, I'll—"

The sound of a doorbell interrupted Gene's reassurances.

"I'll get it." Oliver left the kitchen and headed straight for the front door. He opened it to find Lin and Madoka standing there.

Oliver blinked, confused.

"What are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be back until tomorrow."

"Where is my baby?" Madoka demanded.

She did not wait for Oliver to step aside, but pushed past him and headed straight down the hallway. Oliver looked to Lin for explanation.

"We missed Maggie," Lin stated with a grave expression. "Apologies for giving you no notice, but the first flight was very early this morning, as I am sure you can imagine."

Oliver raised an eyebrow, but did not question it. He let Lin in and they walked together to the kitchen to find Madoka hugging the messy toddler without a care for her own clothing.

"Mama! Dada!"

Maggie wriggled from her mother's grip to fetch a cupcake for each of her parents. They took them procured treats and tried them with as much enthusiasm as Oliver had shown. Yet Madoka actually seemed to enjoy hers.

Oliver removed himself from the scene to collect Maggie's belongings. A moment later, Gene joined him.

"Why did they come back?" Gene asked in a low voice. Oliver thought he sounded almost annoyed.

"Lin said they missed their daughter."

"She was just starting to like me as well," he muttered, scowling.

Oliver rolled his eyes and continued to pack Maggie's things into the bag - how had they managed to spread so far?

"It is not like you won't see her again."

Gene's pout did not soften.

"Yeah but we really connected over the apple sauce."

Oliver's eyes were in danger of becoming exhausted from the amount of rolling he felt the need to do. Refraining from repeating the action, he handed Gene the now packed bag.

"Come on."

They found the happy family still in the kitchen, Madoka gently wiping Maggie's face clean.

"It looks like you had fun here," Madoka said.

Maggie clapped her hands and giggled.

"Was she any trouble?" Lin asked.

"Not at all," Gene insisted. "Perfect little angel!"

Oliver raised an eyebrow.

"You're deluded," he muttered in a low voice.

"I can't be rude about a toddler," Gene hissed back.

"Now say 'byebye' to Oliver and Gene," Madoka instructed.

Maggie toddled over to the twins and hugged each of their legs in turn.

"Byebye Noh, byebye Gene!"

"Goodbye Maggie," Gene said, before elbowing Oliver.

"Goodbye."

And as soon as she had come, Maggie was gone.

Gene cleaned up the kitchen while Oliver cooked lunch. They ate in silence. Both twins' eyes frequently glanced to where Maggie usually sat, but there was no need to cut up food or pretend that each bite was an aeroplane.

"I miss her."

"Hmm?" Oliver looked up from his meal.

"I miss Maggie."

Oliver shrugged and continued to eat.

"Don't you miss her?"

"Not really. She has been gone less than an hour."

Gene poked at his food, spiking a piece of broccoli onto his fork and staring at it for a while. He sighed.

"We never got to do our science experiment."

"We can do it next time we see her," Oliver pointed out.

Gene sighed again.

"What?" Oliver prompted, wanting to get Gene's pining out of the way and done with.

"I want a baby."

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

Gene sighed yet again.

"I'm not ready to be an uncle. Four days was enough."

"It was only three really," Gene pointed out.

"Babies puke everywhere and cry and keep people up all night."

"Yeah but Maggie was so happy when she'd helped with the cupcakes…"

"So babysit her more often, you don't need your own."

"But I want my own," Gene insisted. "Then Lin and Madoka can't take them away."

Oliver sighed.

"How do you plan on getting one though? You work full time with long shifts and so does Yasuhara. Oh, and neither of you have uteri."

"Yeah that would be an issue…" Gene agreed. "I could get a surrogate… Or adopt! We were adopted, it would be a great way to continue the family tradition. Or I could ask Mai, she has a uterus."

Oliver frowned.

"I feel like Mai might get attached to anything she kept in her womb for nine months," he said.

"She could share it."

"Do you want me to ask her?" Oliver inquired, concluding that all reason had left the conversation.

"Nah, I'll ask her myself."

"And what does Yasuhara think about children?"

"I don't think he's opposed to the idea, but he always said it in the 'one day when I'm older and married' kind of sense," Gene answered.

"I see."

"But I wouldn't mind that, fancy being my best man?" Gene asked.

"No."

"Aww, what? Why not?"

"Why would I?"

"Because you are my best friend, that's why!"

"I thought Yasuhara was your best friend."

"He's my other best friend. But he can't be the groom and the best man."

"Why not? It would save me coming at all."

"You wound me." Gene clutched his heart and feigned pain.

Oliver rolled his eyes.

"I am not organising a stag do," he said a minute later.

"That's fine," Gene said, grinning.

"But when you've got around to organising the wedding, could you have it on a Sunday so I don't have to miss work?" Oliver asked.

His tone may have been disinterested, but his slight smile said otherwise. Gene laughed.

"Right, I will bear that in mine. Hurry up and finish eating," Gene said.

"Why?"

"So we can go ring shopping of course!"


End file.
